So, you have finally decided to rear your ugly head. I was wondering when we would finally meet? And I see you didn’t take your time in making the first move. Well, I have news for you… I came with back up!
If you haven’t already heard I have what we foreigners call “China disease”; that unexplainable almost untreatable illness you cant quite put your finger on, which you’ve been fighting off since, well since you arrived. It attacks every one a little different and could be masked behind what seems like the beginnings of a cold or flue that never fully develops or goes away. Its’ not something you can really hide from either as most foreigners who’ve been here about as long as I have (and longer) can attest to. I guess you can say its sort of a write of passage… once you get China Disease you’re basically in the EXPAT club (YAY me!).
Any ways, so my symptoms are quite obvious, I basically can’t talk… at all! I believe its full blown laryngitis but the doctors have their own hypothesis; basically that I’m sick because I don’t wear pants (I went to the doctors wearing short’s... sue me! It was a warm 24 degrees out that day).
So I went to the Chinese doctor because the western doctors cost about 500 rmb just to be seen vs. the 80 rmb at the community health center around the corner from me (for all you North Americans that’s 75 bones vs. 12 … not cheap to see a doctor here. YAY for free Canadian health care!!) Also I kinda wanted to try out some cool Chinese meds that every one raves about.
So the doctor took my temperature… normal.
She felt up my glands…normal.
She checked out my chest… not so normal but I went with it. (just kidding on that one, lungs and everything.. normal)
Finally she checked my blood… normal
So what on earth was making me so damn tired and unable to form any type of sound? “CHINA DESIES”, or to her the fact that I wasn’t wearing pants. Either way she wrote me a note stating I needed to take 4 days of intensive rest, not to talk at all, and to follow these instructions:
Don’t eat:
Pork
Fried Food
Sea Food
Spicy Food
Oily Food
Dairy
Coffee
Alcohol
…. That basically leaves me with vegetables and oatmeal yumm.
I was however successfully given a handful of really disgusting Chinese meds that make me want to hurl every time I ingest them, ergo they must be working!
